Fidget Spinning: Don’t Be A Statistic

Do you know what your teens/friends/colleagues are doing?

Sasha Solomon
4 min readJun 26, 2017

Everything was going great until about a month ago. I hung out with friends, engaged with people on social media, participated in outings with colleagues.

And then it happened.

A video of a fidget spinner. Huh, that’s weird. What’s a fidget spinner?

Oh, it’s just a spinny thing with some ball bearings? It spins around. Kinda lame.

I thought nothing of it.

But I start seeing them more and more.

I’m innocently scrolling through my facebook feed. What do I see? A FUCKING TUTORIAL FOR MAKING A FIDGET SPINNER OUT OF BULLETS

this is too much

LIKE WTF EVEN IS THIS?!? I calm down and try to live my life.

The next day at work, I say “hello” to a coworker. She turns around. “Oh heyyyyy, what’s upppppp, have you seen these new fiidgetttt spinnnerrsss???”

She’s slowly spinning her fidget spinner. I back away.

A few days later, I’m check Twitter. “Hmm, let’s see what’s going on today, anything interesting?” I think to myself.

Oh. My. God.

NEW OFFICIAL FIDGET SPINNERS ARE COMING??? I thought Arcade Fire was a good band. A band people good trust. A band people could rely on.

I guess not.

I take a deep breath and close the tab.

I meet up with my friends for our weekly Dungeons and Dragons session. While we’re waiting for everyone to arrive, I open up Twitter and see another fidget spinner tweet.

“Man, what is up with these fidget spinners? Like, they’re so dumb, right? It’s like everyone’s being brainwashed or something,” I say.

One of my friends slowly turns around and grabs something out of his bag. “Whaattt are you taaaaalking abouuuutt? I juuussstt goooot onee. It’s preeeeetyy coooool. It’s for some photoooographyy experiments I’m doooinggg.”

“Oh, Jesus not you too?!?”

“It’s coool, just holddd it. It comes apart.”

He drops the pieces in my hands. I see the ball bearings I knew it was made of and the little metal pieces that are heavier than I was expecting.

“Ya, it’s just ball bearings. I’m putting this in the trash.” I place the pieces in the bin and hope this is all it takes to put an end to all of this.

A few days later, I’m talking to my husband and a friend about an offsite they both attended.

“Ya, they gave us all fidget spinners,” our friend says.

I quickly look at my husband. He looks back, knowing what question I’m asking.

“I didn’t grab a fidget spinner. Those things are so stupid.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. At least it hasn’t gotten to him.

Our friend pulls out his spinner and I can see his eyes glaze over.

I get a text from a friend.

“I think this is what was missing from our office,” it says. It’s accompanied by this photo:

They think it’s all a game. They don’t even realize how far gone they are.

I’m at a company outing and a group of us end up talking. A fidget spinner addict pulls out his spinner. The eyes of the others in the group get wide and they pull out their spinners as well. “Hey I have one of those! It lights up!” exclaims the CEO. The gather around and pose for a fidget spinner video. I protest, but my pleas are drowned out by the laughter of people spinning.

“Did you see the video of us all spinning our fidget spinners???” Someone asks me afterwards.

“Ya,” I say realizing that I’ve failed, that it’s too late. I tried my best to prevent this, to save them.

Now all I can do is help them on the long road to recovery.



Sasha Solomon

software engineer @twitter, previously @medium. doing scala + graphql. pokemon gym leader. potato compatible. @sachee